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Anything & Everything
Stories
Thet-Nirio
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<blockquote data-quote="Undead_Lives" data-source="post: 115960" data-attributes="member: 5928"><p>Ah, the wonders of moderating post deletion! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /> I don't double post <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite7" alt=":p" title="Stick Out Tongue :p" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":p" /></p><p>Well, a review.</p><p>Had a few more errors than "If and only If"</p><p>Had a nice feel to it, but a sugestion: to make the reader feel more familiar with the characters, try adding descriptions about their personality, not just their looks. I know you added a bit, but it could use more.</p><p></p><p>I've never seen those names. Maybe you got mixed up?</p><p>Anyways good stuff nonetheless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Undead_Lives, post: 115960, member: 5928"] Ah, the wonders of moderating post deletion! :P I don't double post :P Well, a review. Had a few more errors than "If and only If" Had a nice feel to it, but a sugestion: to make the reader feel more familiar with the characters, try adding descriptions about their personality, not just their looks. I know you added a bit, but it could use more. I've never seen those names. Maybe you got mixed up? Anyways good stuff nonetheless. [/QUOTE]
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Anything & Everything
Stories
Thet-Nirio
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