1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Come and join our gamer community by registering for free here

Shades of Grey -- A novel by C.S.Goodhue

Discussion in 'Books, Comics, & Writing' started by caleeb12, May 21, 2009.

  1. caleeb12

    caleeb12 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2009
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Hey all, check out the website below to read and comment on my novel-to-be, Shades of Grey. I am really looking forward to getting any constructive criticism.

    SoG


    Regards,

    Caleb
     
  2. Miran_Eitan

    Miran_Eitan New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2009
    Messages:
    425
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Okay, just so you know, I'm not critiquing to be a bastard. I'm naturally a jerk and I'm a writer myself. I've had several poems and short stories included in newspapers and journals, so I have at least a bit of literary background.

    I'm not going to mince words. The story made me cringe. As a screenplay, it would do fine, you have plenty of drama and not a whole lot of forethought, but as a book, it's simply not dynamic enough.

    In simpler terms, a good book needs several things for the reader to be interested in. Solid characters, some form of reader grab and some form of intelligent writing for the plot.

    Solid Characters can be everything from the cliche lead character who doesn't really know who he is, to something more unique like the man who knows what he wants to accomplish, but is just a procrastinator. Your characters have to have a back-story. Even if you don't include it in your book, you should to write it up, just so you the writer, know who they are. It helps in the long run. You don't have to blurt out that the guy was born in chicago circa 1985 and was a drug addict after dropping out of high school in the middle of an action sequence though, drop hints here and there, let the reader find out slowly about your main characters. That adds length and intrique to the book and makes them connect with the character. If they feel for your characters, then they'll be more attached when you start having plot twists or some form of drama.

    Reader grab can be pretty much everything. I have a very satirical humor style to my writing. Lots of puns, sarcasm and dry/dark humor. Some people like using excessive action, others like using excessive romance. If you're trying to avoid landing your book on the shelf at the safeway, try to avoid going to an extreme of one of those two. Drama, Humor, Romance, Violence, all have to be equally balanced, otherwise it just gets over the top. From what I read, you had a huge amount of Drama, I didn't see any real humor in the section I read, a kind of screwy attempt at romance and some violence that was mostly alluded to.

    Descriptions are a writer's best friend. While some people have grand imaginations, others don't and just play Combat Arms all day ;). Another draw is great descriptions of the characters as they go through whatever plot that's being protrayed. Don't describe every blade of grass sifting in the wind, all but the most dedicated will get bored and go rent a movie. Just try to include one or two sentence descriptions as a prefix or suffix to a section where you just have characters talking. Otherwise they feel like mindless drones, or worse, soap opera stars.

    If you're looking to get into the action genre, I suggest reading a few Tom Clancy books like Rainbow Six and the Hunt for the Red October. Jack McDevit and Spider Robinson are two FANTASTIC authors if you want some ideas revolving around science fiction. Spider Robinson describes music in his book Variable Star, in possibly one of the best...forms I've ever seen.

    Overall, I wouldn't buy your book, it reads like a thirteen year old wrote it. There's not a whole lot of panache and it's got the same mindset of that of a younger reader. You're on the right track though.

    I might suggest getting involved in Forum Roleplay groups of some sort. That'll increase your descriptive writing and really get you experience that will help in the long run for writing in general. If you want help with that, I know people, just let me know.
     
  3. caleeb12

    caleeb12 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2009
    Messages:
    304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    thanks for the words of advice.
     
  4. King3vil

    King3vil New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2009
    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    i agree with miran, lol what more could i say after that?
     

Share This Page